Spiders. Not normally a problem. You want a spider removed from your home (or room in halls), I'm your girl. Even Chris always calls on me to remove spiders, moths, daddy long legs, etc.

Today was different. Today Spider had revenge.

I was in the bathroom, had finished brushing my teeth and hair (different brushes used, don't worry) and had turned to head to the shower. I felt a tickling on my neck and assumed it was some hair. I gaze down and see moving parts. Definitely not hair. But still, I'm OK with a spider although I would prefer not to have them around the neck/head area. I flick it off. It doesn't flick and ends up round the back of my neck. Flicking becomes frenzied. Eventually Spider lands on the top of my breast and starts heading down under my nightie. At this point I freak, start screaming like a girl, and drag the nightie off. I think I was justified. Spider has now vanished, is definitely not on me and all is safe.

I postpone the shower for later.

After my shower, having finished drying, I am about to put the towel back on the rail. It now becomes apparent where Spider went. I yell for Chris to bring (in order) the camera, a glass and an envelope. Chris had already had the previous story and came for a look first. Recoiling at the door he drastically revises his first idea of the size of glass to get. Picture taken, spider caught, I ask Chris to deposit it outside. I was, after all, still naked. His face was a picture (one I wish I'd taken but then he would have killed me/released Spider). So I suggest he just puts the glass on the patio, removes the envelope and backs away for it to come out on its own.

When I have made it downstairs, fully clothed, it appears Spider hasn't made it out so I have to go out and tip over the fence into next door.

Here's Spider in situ


Honest, it's big. And fast. I stand by my screaming.